I have a minor case of OCD when it comes to decorating and renovations. I obsess over things for months before finally making a purchase or starting a project. Hence, our home is still not fully decorated after over a year and a half in it.
But, why buy knick knacks, when you could gut reno an entire kitchen? I didn't even allow my mind to drift here for a long time because our kitchen is only 2 years old. But it's not our style at all and poorly designed. So, I thought I'd just give it a facelift - rip out the French Country ornate crap, try to add some more storage and work space and basically put a big, pretty band aid on it. But, that band aid is going to cost a lot of dollar signs. So, now I'm envisioning a gut renovation to give us exactly what we want. Chances of actually doing this reno this year, probably around 30%. But, just in case, I'm collecting inspiration.
We're coming out of that first year of parenting fog around these parts. We all sleep at night. Nobody is sleeping in the living room. Or the kitchen. It's possible to talk after 8pm. And OMG I don't know what to do with myself...
Fridays are especially OMG because Spencer has been going to camp in the morning and Owen sleeps in the morning and I am alone to do whatever I please. It's so weird.
I'm feeling rebellious lately but have nothing to rebel against. Life is pretty damn good. My kids are happy and healthy. My marriage is strong. I like my job. Even the Jets are supposed to be good this year.
So, today I rebelled against my hair. I dyed it red with a kit from the drugstore. This would be a better story if it had turned out green or all my hair fell out. But, my hair is ok, just like my life.
I need a creative outlet. Parenting and work have filled every crevice in my intellectual, emotional and creative spaces over the last year, but now there is empty space to be filled. I'm blogging again which is a baby step, but it's not enough.
You've brightened our lives with your big smiles and happy disposition for the past year.You've grown into a little boy with a big personality and an even bigger appetite.
You're so adventurous - never afraid to try things. We've learned how easy we had it with your more cautious older brother. You get frustrated when you fail, but only because you're so eager to be able to do all the things Spencer can do.
Food is your first love. You're never happier than when you're sitting in your high chair with a smorgasbord of finger foods to feast on. You already eat more than your brother at some meals. It shows too - at 1 year, you already weigh 25 pounds.
Other things you love:
The Ergo. When I get this carrier out, you go nuts with excitement. You bounce up and down on your knees and start squawking in anticipation.
Looking Out the Window. You talk to the people walking down the street and get lots of smiles in return.
Your Kitty Cat. You sleep with this stuffed animal and lately you've been putting it under your head as a pillow. Sooo sweet.
Music. You've got rhythm and it certainly didn't come from me. You love to dance whenever you hear a beat.
You've just started walking this week.
You can take 5 or 6 steps now before you topple over. You look up expectantly when you fall, waiting for us to clap for you. You love the spotlight!
It's been a great year, my baby. I'm getting emotional writing this post. I haven't really taken the time to reflect on the significance of your birthday, but it's a biggie. No more babies for me. This year has flown by and the years are just going to keep flying by. I'm going to try to do a better job of taking it all in. Our life is kind of crazy right now - hectic would be too subtle a term to describe it - but I'm going to look back when it's gone and miss all this frenetic energy.
Much love, sweetie. Thanks for all the laughs, love, and smiles you've brought to our lives.
This is going to be a photo heavy post because you're just so darn cute. You're crawling everywhere, pulling up on everything and walking behind push toys. You're a little bit devilish, making a mad dash for the open dishwasher, the pantry, the steps - basically anywhere you know you're not supposed to be. But, I can't blame you - so much to explore, so much to see. I really can't quite believe this is my tenth letter to you already and you're going to be 1 so soon. It's going by so fast - slow down my little friend. Love, Mom
And let's not forget your big brother, here's what he's been up to...
So, this is technically 9.5 months, but who's counting. Not you. Not yet. But you are MOTORING! Holy cow, can you get around. You see something, like for instance an open bathroom door or an open gate at the top of the stairs, and you're off to the races.
And when you're not crawling, you're standing. You pull yourself up on everything. I remember your brother wasn't walking yet at his first birthday, but I'm pretty sure you will be.
At the doctor this month, you weighed in at 22 pounds, continuing to hold your spot at the top of the growth chart. I got scolded for not giving you more finger foods yet, so that's my mission this month. So far, you're just not a fan, but I know you will be.
You talk and smile and laugh all day long. You brighten up the household with your beautiful disposition. I want to bottle up your nature and drink it all day, every day. Yes, I love you that much. Never change, my sweet, sweet boy.
Has it only been a month since my last update? It feels like much longer. We've survived the stomach flu and you've made some big developmental leaps. As predicted, we have motion:
Each day, your crawling motion is getting a little smoother and little faster and little more frightening. I'm not ready for this! You also seem to be a climber, something we never had to worry about with Spencer. You try to pull yourself up on everything you can get your hands on.
Being able to crawl really makes you seem older. You don't seem like quite so much of a baby anymore. I'm getting whiffs of the boy you're going to become.
You're still pretty chill, but have learned the effects of crying and use it to your advantage. You act like taking a nap is an absolute injustice: "But, mom I want to keep playing and crawling forevvvver!"
Your favorite toys are the TV remote control, my iPhone, and Spencer's Bob the Builder lego toy. You get into whatever your brother is playing with - grabbing his toys, disassembling his puzzles, and generally driving him a little crazy. Still, Spencer has a lot of patience with you despite being a generally impatient 3-year-old. He lets you hold Bob and offers to get you toys to keep you busy.
We visited the urologist last week to check on your kidneys. The ultrasound revealed no damage and good growth. Yay! Now we're going to wait until September to do the VCUG (sorry in advance - I wish you didn't have to go through it again!) to see how things are healing, but it's a good sign that your kidneys look good and no infections.
What's up next? I'm still waiting for you to say "mama". It's all "dada, dada, dada". We're going to have to try finger foods this month. I gave you a cheerio last week, but I couldn't handle watching you gag on it. Choking on food makes me extremely nervous - please take it easy on your mama.
Here's how our parent teacher conference went down yesterday...
The setting: A preschool classroom. Spencer's 3 teachers sitting on one side. Two empty chairs for us on the other side. A box of tissues on the table.
Lead teacher: Spencer likes to play cars and dress-up. He's often in the kitchen, wearing a hat, playing with his pals Theo and Max and Beckett.
I think: Wow, how progressive. The boys are the ones cooking.
Lead teacher: He shares well, listens well, and seems to like school a lot.
I think: Thatta boy
Ian makes a joke about the box of tissues in front of us.
Laughter all around.
The End
I can only dream that all future meetings with his teachers will be as easy as this one!
Hey little dude. My update's a little late this month, but for good reason. We were lying on the beach, listening to the waves, basking in the sun shade of an umbrella on St Martin when you turned 7 months old. You're always easy, but were especially good on the trip. On the way home, the airport lost power and we were stuck in a loooooong line and you just smiled your way through the line, igniting smiles on the faces of our fellow weary travelers as we all snaked through the security lines.
I'm going to designate this the "almost" month. You're on the cusp of crawling and you totally know it. You get up on all fours and rock and rock, but haven't quite figured out how to get forward momentum.
You're almost sleeping consistently through the night. I feel like we have more good nights than bad. We haven't done any kind of sleep training and I'm not sure we'll need to. You fall asleep on your own fine. When you wake up during the night, I truly believe you're hungry despite the parenting books saying you're not supposed to be. But, then again, you are in the 99th percentile of height and weight, and may not be exactly typical in your food needs.
You and your brother are getting to be buddies. He likes to play with you and sometimes gets jealous when you play with toys. I can tell you guys are going to be really close as you grow old.
Our big challenge this month is to move you into the bedroom you're supposed to be sharing with your brother. Enough of the pack ' play in the living room. (Hallelujah!) You guys need to find a way to sleep together and not continually wake each other up.
Love you! I have a feeling I'll be chasing you around the apartment before I make my next update!
We got lots of snow for your 6 month birthday. I took you out yesterday in the snow, but you were so bundled up in your stroller that I'm not sure you really noticed the white stuff.
Your growth hasn't leveled off yet - you're still a giant. Your weight remains at the 95th percentile, but your height is now off the charts. And you're strong. Really strong. You're already getting up on all 4's and creeping backwards. Guess it's time for us to babyproof.
You really love your big brother. You smile whenever you see him and try to play with him. But, you're also quickly learning how to handle yourself so you're not a pushover. You scream when he touches a toy you're playing with and are known to take a big handful of his curls and give 'em a tug.
And, finally, you learned a new trick this month which makes me a laugh:
Love you big guy. We're excited to celebrate your first Christmas!
About a month ago I realized it was time to pay some attention to myself. Postpartum recovery (both physical and emotional) wasn't happening without some effort on my part. In truth, I think around 2 or 3 months after Owen's birth I developed postpartum depression, but tried my best not to acknowledge it in hopes that it would go away. But, the funny thing is that once I finally did fess up to myself, things got a whole lot easier.
I still have bad moments. The bad moments almost all center around remembering the night we rushed Owen to the hospital. I still can't think (or write) about that night still without tearing up. Thinking that your child is dying changes you. I try not to let it change me too much. I don't want to be overprotective or a worrywart. But, I flashback and remember the desperate feelings as we ran down the street with Owen in the stroller, stopping every block to nudge him awake, afraid that if we didn't he wouldn't ever wake up. I haven't been able to forget that feeling.
Physically I am still recovering too. I realized I needed some help about 6 weeks ago. Having an 11-pound baby is not something that I would recommend for your abdomen. Basically, my abdominal walls separated as a result of the pregnancy and as long as they're separated there are physical and aesthetic ramifications. The physical part is back pain. The aesthetic part is that my abdomen is droopy and I still look pregnant. I'm going to physical therapy twice a week to try to help restore things. There's been progress, but I still have a lot of work ahead of me.
And then of course there's the baby weight. I've gone back to Weight Watchers for help losing the last 20 pounds of baby weight. We have an amazing vacation planned for mid January that will involve lots of beach wear, so I'm highly motivated in this respect.
I'm trying to be positive about everything. It feels good to know I'm taking charge. The hardest thing now is to be patient and not expect change to happen in a flash. And to remember to stop and take the time to make silly faces every so often.
