Doctors just don't understand

I just got back from my check-up at the doctors. As you may recall, three weeks ago I got scolded for gaining too much weight. So, I've made some small concessions - smaller portions (this is easy since I have less room in my belly for food), fewer sweets, and more walking. So, today I stepped on the scale and found I'd gained 1 (ONE!) pound. I declared victory. Because what is one pound really? It's the difference between a cotton t-shirt and a light sweater.

But here's the catch... I still got the freakin' weight lecture again! About how I have to stop gaining weight. What the heck? Even pre-pregnancy, one pound is nothing to get concerned about - just normal fluctuation. She told me I should have only gained 20 pounds total for the entire pregnancy and I've already gained 30. Every book I've read says 25-35 is normal weight gain, so why do I have the most conservative doctor on the planet? She doesn't want me to gain ANY MORE WEIGHT for the rest of the pregnancy.

As I mulled this over on my cab ride to work, I came up with these big pressing question:

How come everyone is supposed to gain the same amount of weight? I'm tall - why does someone 8 inches shorter than me have the same weight goals? Shouldn't we gain a percentage of our weight during pregnancy instead of all being given the same hard number?

My conclusion is that my doctor needs to be realistic and supportive. Yes, I've gained 30 pounds, but at least 15 of those were during the first 3 months when I had to shovel carbs down my throat 24/7 to subdue my nauseau. Since then I seem to be on a good track. Throw the pregnant lady a bone and give her something more realistic than 0 pounds in final 11 weeks of pregnancy. Even 5 pounds and I would accept the challenge. But 0 pounds just makes me feel like I'm being set up to fail and therefore makes me want to eat gooey chocolate chocolate chip cookies all day long.

Comments

[b]

That really seems harsh -- Is it even possible to gain no weight? Like you said, there is fluctuation, yes? So what if you were just retaining a bit more water this morning? I hope you can talk to her more and try to let her know she's making it even harder for you by setting up an unrealistic goal. The last few weeks that you have to work with her should be harmonious -- not with this black cloud hanging over! I hope you can work it out with her.

[Dr. Lynn]

As a brief disclaimer prior to this comment, I have very little experience with obstetrics. BUT, that being said, I personally disagree with your doctor's comment to not gain any more weight from this point on. Your little tadpole there, as much as you may love him*, is a little parasite at this point. He's going to take whatever he may damn well please from you whether you have your cake and eat it, too or develop anorexia nervosa during these last 11 weeks. To me, not gaining anymore weight is RELATIVELY speaking LOSING weight... b/c that little tyke is going to grow no matter what.

I also agree with your percentage of total body weight rationale.

Sooo... I say, just continue to be healthy and eat normally. Don't overanalyze. A "diet"-like mentality is a baaaad idea at this point.

And if I'm wrong and your baby has shoulder dystocia b/c he's so freakin' big to the point of getting a brachial plexus palsy, I guess I'll have to give you advice on that one, too.

* To be consistent with former blog postings, "he" or him" is used for simplicity reasons more than gender reasons.

[Sheri]

your doctor is giving me anxiety clear across the united states. i agree with dr. lynn. not gaining=losing=not possible for the end of pregnancy when the baby puts on all "his" weight.

everyone gains differently. my friend gained 50 pounds, had an 8 lb. baby in june, and is already only 10-15 lbs. away from her pre-pregnancy weight. so whatever...

god, that's lame. it hurts it's so lame. no guilt puh-lease.

[Abby]

Your doctor needs to get a grip.

I gained 43 pounds with Lily (and yes, that was a lot) but all but 15 pounds of it melted off in the first couple of months post-partum. And I am not a person for whom weight just "melts off," either. It's really not the huge deal she's making it out to be.

[Tracy]

Thanks for all the supportive comments! I'm going to ignore the doctor and trust my instincts (and my friends) on this one.