Little O has been in our lives for 20 days. These 20 days can pretty much be divided exactly in half between amazing/blissful/easy and difficult/traumatic/exhausting. You can guess the phase we're in now.
It started with the hospital stay which was horrible for all of us. It was incredibly exhausting trying to take care of Owen in the hospital when I myself wasn't even back to full speed yet. Watching him get poked and prodded constantly (spinal tap, catheters, IVs) added a huge layer of stress and melancholy on top of the exhaustion.
But eventually we were freed and allowed to come home... But nothing was the same. I don't know if the hospital changed Owen's disposition or if things would have changed anyhow, but our super chill dude now screams and SCREAMS and only sleeps with great effort. He throws up constantly and I've been forced to adopt a dairy-free diet again.
Where are we now? I'm trying to decide whether I can handle breastfeeding another baby with a sensitive belly. Leaning towards no, but feeling all kinds of guilt about it. We're trying out all manner of swinging/rocking/vibrating devices to see if we can find something besides our arms where Owen will sleep. I'm slowly catching up on life - getting your phone and internet turned off because you forgot to pay the bill is a good wake up call. And basically just surviving. The good thing about baby #2 is that I have perspective I didn't have the first time around. I know everything is a phase and this all shall end some day soon.
sending my love (sleepy sleepy baby love)... xoxo
Posted by: Sheri | July 10, 2009 at 12:41 AM
Oh gosh I feel for you Tracy. I hope it gets easier with Owen. You sound so tired and overwhelmed. I hope it eases up soon.
Posted by: Amy | July 10, 2009 at 01:02 AM
Poor cute, you need and totally deserve a break! Here is hoping that Owen reverts back to his chill status and gives mama a chance to rest and regroup. I can understand your guilt over breastfeeding, but as someone who had a ridiculously tremendous amount of guilt over breastfeeding, please don't put so much pressure on yourself. As a wise woman once said to me, a happy mama is a happy baby.
Hmmm. Seems to me that that woman was you! ;)
thinking of you
Posted by: becky | July 10, 2009 at 08:47 AM
Ugh, I feel (some of) your pain. 3 weeks of age is actually when colic tends to surface, so it may not even have anything to do with the hospital stay, although then again, it might.
The thing that worked like magic for us with our colicky baby was the vacuum cleaner. Something about its white noise was calming to her. At first we just hauled the thing out and kept it by the rocking chair, but once we had 2 seconds to rub together, my husband recorded a few minutes of it and burned it repeatedly onto a writeable CD. That thing was worth its weight in gold. I'd send it to you, but it's already been passed along to a fellow colic-parent.
In any case, best of luck and please keep us posted!
Posted by: Abby | July 12, 2009 at 09:12 PM
PS - you already know my thoughts about this, but I totally agree with Becky. Happy mom = happy baby!!
Posted by: Abby | July 12, 2009 at 09:14 PM